The year is half over and, thankfully, I don't feel panicked that it's slipping away from me. We have really packed a whole lot in to these last six months: the kids rushing ahead in leaps and bounds, Soy and I toughing out the GFC by keeping as many balls in the air as we can.
In about March, when I was feeling particularly low about the economy and our ability to make a living working freelance, I actually went out and did an interview for a job as a lawyer. I thought that if things got really desperate, I would use the skills I know will make money. Boy, that was a wake up call. The very idea that I might be stepping back into that life made me sick to the stomach.
Maybe it was my look of quiet desperation, but soon afterwards Soy said to me 'we've worked too bloody hard to let this thing beat us.' And that day my attitude changed too.
Recession or no recession, I will make a living working on my own terms. That was the day the photography business became a solid goal in my head, and that was the day I stopped taking every bit of bad news personally. We just pick up and move on.
We managed to finish the financial year a little ahead of where we were last year, which was a very, very pleasant surprise. Work is still coming in, including some photography work which makes me giddy with happiness (and more than a bit nervous), our children still have shoes on their feet and I wake up each day happy that I only answer to my clients and my family.
Fortunately any dimming in my positive attitude in the early part of the year didn't translate to the kids, who have both been incredibly happy this year. Zac is getting all the benefits promised by attending an infants school (a school with classes only from Kindergarten to Year 2): he's becoming a leader, understanding a little bit of responsibility and maybe even some empathy. He's also growing into his limbs and feet, so he's more coordinated and confident.
Nell is itching to get to school. Not that she envies the kids who have to go every day: she still loves the luxury of having Mondays and Tuesdays to herself. But she's reading, writing and adding - all self taught. I can see that next year, when she's dressed in her school uniform and toting a giant bag, I'll shed a few tears but she will not.
I'm looking forward to the second half of the year, in which I will turn 40 and see my baby past the milestone of 5. Maybe there'll be a twinge of sadness, but mostly I think I'll be feeling excitement. Things are looking rosy indeed.
Hey, congrats on how far you've come Elissa. I didn't realise you had been finding it such a struggle - though, der, I suppose in this economy it should have been obvious. But it's fantastic that you getting in and making it work.
Posted by: Kirsten (same person, new blog) | July 06, 2009 at 09:24 PM